A Month of Blogs - How Not To Fall In Downward Dog

How Not to Fall in Downward Dog

Suggested by Dee Dee M.


As a writer who seems to have hit a low point in creativity and / or just getting off my ass and writing, I signed myself up to write 31 blog posts during October - one a day - on any subjects that are suggested to me. The only rules for suggestions are that they can't be anything that involve me having to take on a particular viewpoint (so no "Why I Hate Twilight" or "Why Rock Music is the Best Music") - this isn't debating class, and right now I'm not interested in trying to argue something that I may or may not agree with. Anything else goes - it can be a specific subject or a broad one, one that I've written about in the past or something new that will need research. If you're interested in playing along, you can leave a comment here, or email me at thenordicalien@gmail.com. (I'll try and remember to check there, honest!)
I was both intrigued and worried when I got this post request, which is why I'm writing it out of the order that it came in. The worrying part was whether I'd actually be able to write it, since a) I haven't taken a yoga class since 2005; and b) when I did, I was too busy giggling with my friend over the term "downward dog" to have committed much to memory. The intriguing part is also the above, since it's a post that I knew would take research, and the possibility of learning something new is always an intriguing one.

My first port of call was YouTube videos. The comments on these indicated that I was going to be cringing by the end, but when I started to play the clips, things didn't look so bad. Oh, THAT one! I exclaimed. I remember that position! I wonder if I can still do it? I got off my bed onto the floor, adopted a very undignified position on my hands and knees, stomach and breasts swinging unrestrainedly, curled my toes under, and pushed up into an approximation of downward dog. Ten seconds later I had a puffy red eye from taking a boob to the face, but I also had a feeling of accomplishment.

Note to self: wear a sports bra while attempting yoga.

So admittedly, I didn't see too many problems with this position. I think this may have something to do with an unconventional childhood full of unconventional pastimes, one of which was pony-vaulting. For the uninitiated, pony-vaulting is basically a form of horse-based gymnastics. Yoga poses, ballet poses, eventual handstands and headstands and somersaults...all of it on (or off of) the back of a cantering horse. It was the one and only dangerous thing my mother ever let me do, and I'm grateful for it, although I never got up to the handstand stage. I spent my early years in Menorca, and in the eighties it was a little dead in the winter, and we were only doing half days in school at this point, so Robbie (my childhood friend) and I found ourselves enrolled in this thoroughly bizarre circus gym class twice a week in the afternoons. Robbie was much better at it than I was, as a result of having twice my energy levels, a daredevil streak wider than the Mississippi, and a mother who didn't freak out over every little thing he did. We learned to ride bareback; to ride backwards; to spin around on our butts ("la molina" - the windmill); to balance on one hand and one knee while we raised an arm and the opposite leg high in the air ("la bandera" - the flag); to lie on our stomach and bend a leg behind us at both the hip and knee so the sole of our foot touched the top of our head (I think that one had a name, but I don't remember what it was).

Long story short: if you can pull off a yoga pose while balancing on a large sorrel gelding named Chianti, you can probably do it anywhere.

However, that doesn't mean that you can do it well. Or that you can communicate how to do it to anyone else. So with that in mind, I decided to ask a professional.

Haley Blackman is the owner and yoga teacher at The Beauty of Yoga, based in London and Herts. She teaches Hatha, Hatha Flow and Yin Yoga, and she was nice enough to write me some easy-to-follow (I hope!) instructions to quote for this post.

Keep fingers spread and push the top of the mat away from the body, really pressing down with the triangle between the forefingers and thumb, says Haley. Keep eyes of the elbows facing one another, triceps rolled outwards, shoulders away from ears. Cinch in the waist, extend up through the torso like a telescope and extend the chest towards the thighs. Sitting bones are lifted towards the sky. Lift the knees to engage the quads, lift through the shins. Heels are gently reaching towards the floor. Keep breathing slowly and deeply. Once these body parts are activated the pose can be held.

So there you have it. I may have to take another class to be able to picture these instructions fully - and if I do, I'll write a Part 2 to this post - but hopefully anyone who knows the basics of yoga will be able to understand.

Me, I have plenty more bicep curls and oblique-strengthening exercises to do until I can hold my downward dog comfortably for more than five seconds. :)


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How To Break A Heart In Three Sentences

[Yes, I know I'm a little crazy. Save it.]

While I was AWOL this time, I spent a bit of time down South, and when we were walking along the beach, I stopped in a fortune-tellers. Yeah, I know most of them are charlatans, but there's always the possibility that you might come across a good one - and I can usually tell the good ones at a glance - and even the bad ones are good for a laugh. As long as you don't give them too much money, of course.

And what I got told (for free! She wouldn't take my money!) was this:

In another land, a man goes through life with an empty heart. He looks for love, but only a prophet can help him. The thing you need most is courage.

I can't say whether the man mentioned here actually exists, or is someone who will come into my life, but she's right about the courage - that's something I've always lacked, and have been trying to learn for so long. I'm no prophet, though.

And because I'm ridiculously soft and fluffy and emotional, my heart breaks a little every time I think of this hypothetical man with the emptiness inside and the need for love and affection. I know what empty feels like, and I don't want anyone to go through that. Not anyone, but especially not someone I could love.

Empathy

So I'm sitting here in my living room, at 1.17 on a Monday night (Tuesday morning), buck naked because it's just too freakin' hot to wear clothes, and I am completely at a loss as to what to do with myself. I should be in bed, but however hot it is down here I know it'll be worse in my room. I've been in a shitty mood all day, for no apparent reason. If there is a reason, I certainly can't figure out what it is, which leads me to think that it's not my bad mood at all, it's someone else's and I'm just picking it up. Thankfully the blackness of the mood began to fade at about 11 this evening - 5 your time - and now I just feel kind of lost.



I'm an empath. It's what I am, it's what I do. And most of the time I can - well, not embrace it, exactly, but live with it. Most of the time I bitch a little, and then eventually shrug and say Oh well, if I weren't an empath I'd probably be a sociopath, so all things considered this way is probably better, and then I just move onto the next thing and don't really bother too much about it until the next time I'm barraged with someone else's emotions.

But then there are some days when I don't deal well at all.

If you can't understand what I'm saying, I ask you to consider this: imagine everything you've ever felt - and then multiply it by everyone you've met. Dull it down a bit - because obviously I don't get the complete uncensored emotions from everyone. But even dulled down, it's pretty crazy-making. You learn early to build your shields, or you go crazy. Some of the shields are instinctive - I don't experience the way people feel about me most of the time; my brain instinctively protects me from that - and others are ones that I've deliberately built and refined over the years.
Now and then, though, I find a person who bypasses all the shields as though they're not even there. I have one such person in my life right now. With this person, there's no off switch. The feelings don't come through all the time, but when they do there's no way of controlling them or getting rid of them. A lot of the time I don't even know if the things I feel are my own or not. And unlike with my own, I can't rationalise my way out of a bad mood when it's coming from an outside source. For better or for worse, we are bonded, and there is nothing I can do about that. Even the Ancestors can't or won't help me.
So I carry on, trying with all my power to ignore the frequent bursts of nausea or heavy feelings I get in my chest, hurting as they hurt, knowing that one of the people I love most in the world is in a heapload of pain, and also knowing that there is very little I can do about it.

Hand Analysis

ANALYSIS OF GAS STATION GUY'S HANDS (JUST FOR FUN; BEAR IN MIND THAT I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL PALM READER):


Gas Station Guy has air hands. Air hands (square palms and long fingers) indicate a person who is inventive, innovative, practical and thoughtful. They are extremely intellectual and can become impatient and frustrated if they do not feel challenged mentally. They are conscientious and pay attention to detail, which sometimes shows up as finickiness. They are both logical and intuitive, and are quick to make decisions which they base on a combination of intuition and logic. Air people enjoy expressing themselves. They are naturally inquisitive and live to learn. They are interested in travel, freedom and knowledge, and love to communicate their knowledge to others, although they can become frustrated when other people do not understand what is being said. Air people are generally happy and are the easiest type to get along with.

I don't get to see his palms much, so I can't really comment much on the development of the four quadrants, although I can say from the feel that his Mount of Luna is fairly prominent, indicating creativity and a vivid imagination, as well as a strong empathic bent. His Mount of Venus is likewise well-developed, indicating that he is a sensual, tactile person with strength, stamina, a love of physical activity, and a high sex drive. However, his Mount of Venus is more firm than spongy, so it's likely that, although sensual, he is not a hedonist.

As I do not get to see the palms, I cannot comment on any of his lines.

Although I prefer to use the elemental system of hand classification, D'Arpentigny's system can sometimes be useful, and using this system, Gas Station Guy (GSG) would be described as having philosopher's hands, as his knuckles are prominent (although not particularly knotty). People with prominent knuckles like to analyse things a lot, and enjoy debate and rhetoric thinking (hence the name). This fits well with his low-set thumb, which usually indicates someone who is introspective and a deep thinker. Interestingly, there is a wide angle - nearly ninety degrees - between the tips of the thumb and the index finger when his fingers are spread out, which usually denotes a person who is outgoing and gregarious, and finds it easy to make friends. I can only assume that he is an extrovert on the surface and a deep thinker underneath.

GSG has noticeable gaps between the first and second fingers, as well as between the third and fourth, although not between the second and third. A gap between the first / index (Jupiter) and second / middle (Saturn) finger shows that the person is confident and has good self-esteem. People with this gap often have a strong ideology and will usually stand up for what they believe in. A gap between the third / ring (Apollo) and fourth / little (Mercury) fingers shows that the person is independent and likes to make up his own mind about things. However, people with this gap often have trouble expressing negative emotions and sharing their problems, preferring to pretend, at least outwardly, that all is well.

None of his fingers bend towards another finger noticeably, so most likely he is well-rounded and generally happy with his current life, and does not feel like he has had to make any great sacrifices.

There is a very light sprinkling of hair on his hands, indicating masculinity, but not so much that he is likely to be consumed by animal urges. Good thing too. :)

Now doesn't that sound like a guy I could be happy with?