The Problem With Exes

Don't take this note too seriously. I mock, but only a little bit.

Ash - The glass is half full, but that only means that the fuckers haven't stolen it from me yet.

Luciano - I don't care about the glass, I only use Lalique.

Julian - The glass is half empty, and even if it weren't I wouldn't know how to drink from it anyway.

Richard - The glass is half full, meaning I still have half a glass to lose.

Jermaine - It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, I didn't pay for it anyway, and if we drink it someone'll fill it up for us again each time.

Mike - The glass is so beautiful when it's half full, I don't want to ruin it by drinking it.

Curt - The glass? What glass? Babes, you're confusing me, why are you going on about glasses?

Jamie - The glass is still half full, which means you're not drunk enough.

Vidal - The glass is full. Totally. Any idiot can see it's mostly empty, but I am in denial and think that I can force it to be full by sheer willpower.

Nathan - The glass is still half full, and that fact alone should say something about what's in it, and whether you really want to be drinking it or not.

Oli - You're overanalysing the glass, you should just drink it and then spend the rest of your time on something more constructive.

Love you all, and I hope that by now you've found the right woman for you!

IQ And Other Crap

I felt like sharing this with someone, so you guys are the lucky ones. But please, don't take this note too seriously.

For the last fifteen years or so I've been doing occasional "work" (i.e. guinea-pig stuff) for a guy who designs IQ tests for Mensa and various other societies. He's one of the smartest people I know, and the person who's taught me most of the foreign curse words that I know, after ten years of me breaking his tests.

None of this is important, just background information. :)

Anyway, for the last couple years I've been refusing to answer his emails, referring to the societies he works for as mental masturbation, amongst other things. However, today, quite by accident, I found myself researching IQ for an article that I'm contemplating writing, and I discovered the following:

Only about 90 people in the whole of the USA have an IQ of 175 or above.

Assuming that there are somewhere between 303 million and 306 million people in America (2008 census gave the figures as just above 303 million; allowing for population increases it's now estimated to be somewhere around 306 million), that means 175-IQers consist of 1 (just under) 3 millionth of the population.

I am 1 in 3 million. Or was, pre-brain damage. But the amusing part is that I STILL enjoy most of what the world has to offer me, from quantum physics to the inanity that is movies like Outbreak. (Which is on right now, to my utter joy.)

That, plus tuna salad for dinner, makes this a really happy day.

And that right there is one of the reasons why I believe that whoever created this universe has a sense of humor, albeit a slightly odd one. :D