This Sucks Big Monkey Balls

Today I made the somewhat-depressing discovery that somehow, somewhere along the line since 2006, I got fat. I used to be pleasantly curvy, even plump, but somehow I have become fat.

*sigh*

I don't know how I never noticed this before. I guess because I've ALWAYS seen myself as being fat, even when I was actually quite slim. And I look in the mirror every day, so it's been hard to see the changes. But I bought a new phone today, with a fairly decent camera on it (not great, I can't afford great, but it's good enough) and I now have to admit the horrible truth: the fact that I can't take a good picture isn't to do with the horrible cheap cameras I was using, it's just ME.

According to my dietician, and my gynaecologist, and several specialists, being on a diet for 21 years has slowed my metabolism down to a point where even an 800-calorie-a-day diet is making me fat, and my twice and three-times-weekly gym visits are just not cutting it anymore.

I haven't quite figured out what to do about this, how to attack it, although I know that I have to do SOMETHING. I cut out potato chips after Christmas, and I thought that would help, but it doesn't seem to have. Chocolate is next, as soon as Easter's past, and then I think it's going to have to be bread and pasta. Dammit, I love sandwiches. They're so easy. *big sigh*

But it has to be done, and I always do what has to be done.

I need to work out a gym plan, and stick to it, even when it's raining and cold. I really miss my car, though. I'm quite happy to go to the gym and work out until I'm exhausted...I'm just not happy to come out of the gym and wait for 50 minutes in the cold rain for a bus that doesn't come, which is most of the time in my town. So a lot of the time I don't go.

I'll work it out. Soon, I hope. Anyway, I'll keep you posted.