Because I Never Wanted To Be The Hive Queen, Anyway

I am not just here for sex.

It seems to be that I'm primarily here to blog. This comes as something of a surprise to me, because who joins a sex site just to keep a journal about non-sexual things? I could have joined livejournal, I could have continued to write in my msn space or to use my facebook notes page for blog entries.

And yet somehow I ended up here.

Even as far as my blog choices go, they're not primarily or even secondarily focused around sex. I neither write nor read about it any more than I would be doing if I'd chosen a different site. The blogs on my watched list are not all by men of my own age in my own area: they're a mixture of male and female, from all corners of the earth, between the ages of 19 and 49, and cover all sorts of subject matter. About the only things that my watched bloggers have in common is that they're all smart and they all have interesting things to say - or at least things that *I* find interesting.

I was trying to pinpoint today exactly what it is that attracts me to this site so much. It's certainly not the reliability of it. It's not the possibility of meeting sex partners, although I may take advantage of that at some point. The anonymity would be closer to the mark, but it's not even that entirely, because I know that many people who check out my profile - and by extension, my blog - are people from my own town, who would know me if I put up a picture, and who may know me even without one.

I think it's very possible that the thing I like about being here is not so much that nobody could possibly know me, but more that nobody will care too much. Not so much that I can make up a false personality - because I can't really; I'm not someone who can be fake for too long - but that I don't have to give out too much of my real one. People on here don't ask a lot of personal questions, and if someone asks one that I don't want to answer I can just ignore it. We're sort of on a need-to-know basis, and people on here simply don't need - or feel like they need - to know the same degree of things that people in the real world, or even on other social networking sites, do.

So many sites out there seem to be collections of people that are brought together by secrets. A lot of people join websites so they can confess things to strangers that they don't feel ready to say to their friends. I never really got that, because my friends know basically everything there is to know about me. I don't talk a whole lot about myself, but I don't keep secrets either. This site, for me, is the opposite of a confessional: it's one of the few places where I don't have to be That Girl, but instead can just be one of many.

I like having one place where I don't have to give too much of myself.

Well, this good little worker bee is heading off to bed now. Enjoy the evening.