Surveyness

The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for?

Something edible. I didn't find anything so I ended up eating toast. My eating habits are pretty bad atm - I eat like a horse half the time and a bird like the other. I just don't have the energy to cook.

Where was the last door you shut?

Bedroom, I guess.

If science found that beer causes cancer, would you still drink it?

Ehh, depends on what you mean by "causes". Causes as in, contributes significantly to, the way smoking does to lung cancer? Or causes as in "might have some sort of link since in lab trials it's been shown to create possible carcinogens" the way cooked meat does? (See heterocyclic amines if you're interested, I'm not giving you the lecture here.)

I don't smoke. I do eat meat. The beer would probably fall somewhere in the middle, depending on the reliability of the tests and the amount that it contributed to cancer probabilities.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

Either 15 or 18. Take your pick.

Favorite South Park character?

I was always quite fond of Stan, if you're talking main characters. Although I also liked Chef, and Big Gay Al. (Not sure if that's PC, but whatever.)

How often do you have to shave?

LOL, which part are we talking about?

Generally every couple of days if I want to stay silky-smooth. Which I usually do.

Ever sleep at work?

I've catnapped.

Ever go ghost hunting?

Are you frickin' kidding me? You think the girl who is bothered by spirits at all times of day and night is actually going to go LOOKING for them?

Actually, yes, I have. When I was a kid. And a couple of times recently when I was looking for someone in particular.

Usually if I'm ghost hunting, it's because I don't know if someone is dead or not. I figure if I don't find 'em, it's a good sign.

In the last conversation you had with yourself, either aloud or in your head, what did you say?

Something to do with second declension Latin nouns. Don't ask me why, I don't have a clue either.

If you came home and found a super hot model sitting on your bed eating chips and salsa, what would you do?

Depends how super hot we're talking.

What are your views on abortion?

Aye in theory, nay in practice.

i.e. I'm not gonna tell anyone else what to do, or chastise them for making what they believe is the right choice, but I'm not sure I could go through with it myself.

That said, I'm pretty sure I don't want kids anymore, so perhaps I could. Who knows.

How about animal rights?

I don't believe they have the right to have a line of credit and filet mignon for dinner, if that counts.

Death penalty?

Meh.

The last zit you had was on your:

Chin. Stupid, because I haven't had anything like that since I was a teenager...until recently. I don't feel stressed emotionally, but my body is obviously run-down, because I have a pimple on my chin and a shingles outbreak along my spine and the beginnings of a stomach ulcer. Yes, me, Satiana the urban warrior who laughs in the face of despair and eats stress for lunch. I don't even know what it is that's stressing me out so much, because I'm not consciously aware of it.

If you got fired from your job today...

I would wonder what the heck I'd done to warrant it, since short of screwing one of my teenagers or offering them illegal drugs (or you know, theft or murder) there isn't much that I could get fired for.

Would you rather have a tiny head and a huge body, or a gigantic body and a small head?

So basically, would I rather look like Missy Elliot circa 1996 or Christina Aguilera?

Neither, actually.

Whats the longest you have gone without seeing your reflection?

Couple hours I guess. I'm always checking myself out. When I'm out, people stare at me and it makes me wonder if I have something on my face. I never have something on my face, and they always stare, and I still haven't figured out why.

Have you ever fed an animal a jalapeno for revenge of something they did?

LOL, no.

When a hermit crab loses it shell, is it naked or homeless?

Don't know the answer to this one. However, I can tell you that in the MegaDrive / Genesis version of the game "Cool Spot", the hermit crabs are wearing white boxers with red polka dots on.
Now isn't that something you always wanted to know?

What did you dream about last night?

Having my foot stroked at a party I went to back in October 2001.

Don't know why I'm thinking about that NOW. I guess it's just the season.

What are hot dogs made of?

Sugar and spice and everything nice?

Guess not.

Do you own a pair of Uggs?

No. If I'm gonna pay that much money for footwear they're damn well gonna be shaped like the shoes of the gods, make my legs look like I should be gracing the cover of Playboy or Maxim, and made of silk or suede with embroidery or lace or ribbons. Expensive shoes and boots should LOOK expensive, not like something you'd pick up in a costume shop.

Color of your toenails?

Right now they're dark red, but they need painting, they're chipping and one of them broke the other day.

Would you rather have hairy feet or a hairy belly button?

Unfortunately I'm pretty hairy in general. I get it from my Dad. I don't like it, so I spend a lot of time plucking and waxing and shaving various body parts.

Are drummers, guitarists, or bassists more attractive to you?

All, neither. Whatever. If a guy's attractive to me, he's attractive even if he plays the castanets. If he's not, I don't care if he's rich and famous and talented.

What words will you put on your tombstone?

No tombstone. Medical science! And Halloween decorations!

What was the nature of the last lie you told?

I can't remember the last time I lied, actually. It's not something I do often, except to telesales people and occasionally my doctor.

Views on global warming?

Do what you can, when you can, to keep things right.

How do you think we could fix our economy?

Stop spending billions of dollars on blowing up sand and camels?

You can choose to eat your weight in marshmellows or eat your weight in dark chocolate, which do you choose?

I don't think I could eat my weight in anything.

What WOULDN'T you do for a klondike bar?

What's a klondike bar?

98 percent of your brainpower is wasted on:

Seeing things that shouldn't be seen, and that I can't do a damn thing about anyway. I truly believe I could have changed the world if I'd had my RAM freed up to focus on making a medical discovery or a leap forward in quantum mechanics instead of being enslaved to stupid pictures in my head.

OK, maybe I couldn't have changed the world, but I could at least have a decent job and a university degree.

What was the last thing that you said to someone that made them go "OUCH!?"

Can't remember. Sorry.

Have you ever lied to a doctor to get a doctors note to miss work or class?

Nope, I've lied to a doctor to get a note to go BACK to work.

Last Halloween, your costume was:

Probably an angel. I'm usually an angel, since all it requires is a white dress and a pair of wings and a halo, which I already have. Plus I can accessorize with lace and ribbons, which I love.

Typecasting. *shakes head sadly*

Last time you got lucky?

August?

Depends on your definition of lucky, I guess.

Last time you binged on ice cream?

Must have been a couple weeks ago.

Why did your last diet fail?

Ear infection didn't let me exercise, and if I'm not exercising it's hard to keep up the diet. I really need to get back to the gym soon, I've been away for two weeks or more. (Bear in mind I usually go for 3 hours a day, 6 days a week - so 2 weeks is a huge gap for me.)

Favorite song, what do you like about it?

The second verse, as much as it has verses.
"You can hide 'neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well now, I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey, what else can we do now?
Except roll down the windows
And let the wind blow back your hair
Well the night's bustin' open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We've got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting down on the tracks..."

Coolest. Lyrics. Ever.