Juliet...
The dice was loaded from the start.
And I bet...
Then you exploded into my heart.
And I forget, I forget
The movie songs...
When are you gonna realize
It was just that the time was wrong...
- Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits -
My music tastes right now are definitely veering towards the mellow side of things.
[This part of the post got eaten by the blog monsters. :( ]
The only problem has been keeping guys - and some girls - at arm's length.
And somehow in the last couple of months, since the late summer, I've fallen into a parallel universe where I crave romance and love and security, and can't get a date to save my life.
Jeez, I didn't realise quite how long it's been since I sent you guys a note. Funny how when I was going to the library once a week, I was quite good at remembering to update you, but now I have internet at home I can't seem to remember to do it. *shrugs*
So I'm lying here on my bed and 4.37am, plagued by insomnia once again, although I desperately need sleep. Last night I didn't get even ten minutes - pain, nausea and a ghost conspired against me - and then I had to go to Hemel this morning for last-minute gifts. (I have presents for everyone now, but the ones Mom ordered from a catalogue for Jamie and Craig are out of stock, so we have to go into town and find something else tomorrow.) So I got through the day - at least until 2.30 - on a dark cherry mocha from Starbucks, and a cranberry-orange muffin that probably had about 400 calories in it. I needed the sugar at the time, though.
I did manage to sleep a couple hours this afternoon, but now I've spent this entire night working on the computer, as well as messing around uploading photos. Go look at the pictures; I'd hate to think I wasted the whole night.
I can tell how tired I am, because just about every single word I type has a typo in it that I have to go back to correct. Usually my typing skills aren't too bad, but I'm tired enough that I've lost my coordination. Normally I can deal with tiredness, since I generally exist on about 5 hours of sleep a night, but I think all the rushing around these last few weeks has caught up with me.
I'm not even tired and crabby. I've gone past the crabby stage into totally chilled, almost as though I'd been smoking weed all night. Now, if only I could get my brain to switch off enough to sleep.
Hell. I need a back massage. I need some chamomile tea. I need someone to snuggle with, and I hardly ever snuggle.
No ghosts. I'm not too hot or too cold. I don't feel ill. I'm not particularly hungry. WHY THE HELL CAN'T I SLEEP?
I think the sleep gods hate me. I have this dream that's been bothering me a lot this week. I meet a guy. Hot, smart, very attractive in a sort of sharp, sophisticated way. Older - he looks about 40. Piercing blue eyes and a chiseled jaw. So we meet in a coffeehouse. I'm attracted. He's attracted. We go to a hotel and have a great time.
Then he gets out his wallet and shows me his wife and kids. OMG, I think, I slept with a married man. But that's not the worst. His wife is beautiful. His daughter looks like her. And then he shows me the picture of his son, and it's Apollo.
Yes, my Apollo. My fantasy. I've just slept with Apollo's father. And what's more, I liked it.
Holy shit. I need to stop dreaming. I need a nice big moonstone to put under my pillow. That's what I'm buying with my Christmas money.
OK, here's what I'm going to do. Tidy my room up a little bit, because sometimes I can't sleep when there's mess around me. Make my bed, put the computer away. Go take a warm bath with some orange and calendula bath salts in it. Eat some proper food, not just wasabi peanuts, and get back into a nice clean warm bed. Then by the time I've read a chapter of my book, I'll be ready to fall asleep, right? RIGHT?
I also need to set my alarm to make sure I don't sleep the day away. Only two more shopping days till Christmas.
Well, wish me luck. And anyone who's interested in snuggling, giving back massages or kissing under the mistletoe, gimme a call. You have my number.
The dice was loaded from the start.
And I bet...
Then you exploded into my heart.
And I forget, I forget
The movie songs...
When are you gonna realize
It was just that the time was wrong...
- Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits -
My music tastes right now are definitely veering towards the mellow side of things.
[This part of the post got eaten by the blog monsters. :( ]
The only problem has been keeping guys - and some girls - at arm's length.
And somehow in the last couple of months, since the late summer, I've fallen into a parallel universe where I crave romance and love and security, and can't get a date to save my life.
Jeez, I didn't realise quite how long it's been since I sent you guys a note. Funny how when I was going to the library once a week, I was quite good at remembering to update you, but now I have internet at home I can't seem to remember to do it. *shrugs*
So I'm lying here on my bed and 4.37am, plagued by insomnia once again, although I desperately need sleep. Last night I didn't get even ten minutes - pain, nausea and a ghost conspired against me - and then I had to go to Hemel this morning for last-minute gifts. (I have presents for everyone now, but the ones Mom ordered from a catalogue for Jamie and Craig are out of stock, so we have to go into town and find something else tomorrow.) So I got through the day - at least until 2.30 - on a dark cherry mocha from Starbucks, and a cranberry-orange muffin that probably had about 400 calories in it. I needed the sugar at the time, though.
I did manage to sleep a couple hours this afternoon, but now I've spent this entire night working on the computer, as well as messing around uploading photos. Go look at the pictures; I'd hate to think I wasted the whole night.
I can tell how tired I am, because just about every single word I type has a typo in it that I have to go back to correct. Usually my typing skills aren't too bad, but I'm tired enough that I've lost my coordination. Normally I can deal with tiredness, since I generally exist on about 5 hours of sleep a night, but I think all the rushing around these last few weeks has caught up with me.
I'm not even tired and crabby. I've gone past the crabby stage into totally chilled, almost as though I'd been smoking weed all night. Now, if only I could get my brain to switch off enough to sleep.
Hell. I need a back massage. I need some chamomile tea. I need someone to snuggle with, and I hardly ever snuggle.
No ghosts. I'm not too hot or too cold. I don't feel ill. I'm not particularly hungry. WHY THE HELL CAN'T I SLEEP?
I think the sleep gods hate me. I have this dream that's been bothering me a lot this week. I meet a guy. Hot, smart, very attractive in a sort of sharp, sophisticated way. Older - he looks about 40. Piercing blue eyes and a chiseled jaw. So we meet in a coffeehouse. I'm attracted. He's attracted. We go to a hotel and have a great time.
Then he gets out his wallet and shows me his wife and kids. OMG, I think, I slept with a married man. But that's not the worst. His wife is beautiful. His daughter looks like her. And then he shows me the picture of his son, and it's Apollo.
Yes, my Apollo. My fantasy. I've just slept with Apollo's father. And what's more, I liked it.
Holy shit. I need to stop dreaming. I need a nice big moonstone to put under my pillow. That's what I'm buying with my Christmas money.
OK, here's what I'm going to do. Tidy my room up a little bit, because sometimes I can't sleep when there's mess around me. Make my bed, put the computer away. Go take a warm bath with some orange and calendula bath salts in it. Eat some proper food, not just wasabi peanuts, and get back into a nice clean warm bed. Then by the time I've read a chapter of my book, I'll be ready to fall asleep, right? RIGHT?
I also need to set my alarm to make sure I don't sleep the day away. Only two more shopping days till Christmas.
Well, wish me luck. And anyone who's interested in snuggling, giving back massages or kissing under the mistletoe, gimme a call. You have my number.
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