Please, oh please, let this not be the start of another hundred hours. Back in September, when Oli and I broke up, I stopped sleeping. I blogged about it back then, in a couple different posts, but the long and short of it is that I spent near-enough 100 hours awake, broken up by three 2-hour naps and one single 6-hour nap. Eventually the cycle broke, but for that week it was quite frightening. Combined with the fact that the first time we split, a couple years previously, I lost a pound a day for a month plus a handful more besides without even realising it, I figured that I had a physical addiction to him - the only other thing I've ever felt that compared to Oli-withdrawal was drug detox. (Yes, it's a long story, and no, you're not going to get to hear it. Probably ever. Suffice it to say that I have never willingly taken anything harder than marijuana in my life; that I was drugged against my will over a period of some days, and that whether you choose to take the drugs or not the physical feelings during the detox period are much the same.)
Sheesh, if I end up with another acute insomnia bout I'm going to be really frustrated. I'm wondering now if it wasn't Oli-withdrawal that caused it, but a more general emotion overload. Because I've certainly been suffering from that for the last few days. Oh, suffering isn't really the right term, because the majority of the emotion - of MY emotion, anyway - has been joy and jubilation. Although my Tommy Jay, the other piece of my soul, is having a hard week - today (Saturday 29th) was the second anniversary of his mother's death, and much of his emotion is transmitted down the silver cord.
Even without Tommy's pain, though, joy and jubilation can make you jittery after a while.
Pain doesn't help with insomnia, either, and my ear's still not quite right. It's so much better than it's been for the past two weeks, but still not quite how it should be. And my back and legs are killing me from all the London activities yesterday. And yes, I'm aware that some of you will be thinking, Ooh, what did we miss that she didn't blog about? You just keep it in your imagination, pervs, because there's nothing to see here.
So, this girl is very tired, and very horny, and the two sides are in a Mexican standoff. I'm too tired to relieve the horniness, but too turned on to sleep. Eventually one side will have to win, and then they can both turn around and go home, and I'll be a lot more comfortable.
Until then, I guess I'll play some Pokemon. You can't stay turned on while playing Pokemon.
Oh, I expect there are some people out there who can - one thing I've learned is that for every imaginable fetish, there's someone who has it - but that's just something I don't want to think about.
Until then, enjoy - or laugh at - this "I look like I just woke up but actually haven't been to sleep" picture.
Kisses to all.
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