How Do You Know When It Stops Being Worth It?

So, I talked to LOML. He's having marital problems. I don't want to go into them here.

I don't even know what to say to that. Oh hell, what to do? Do I go for self-preservation, and try to stay away from him, or do I remain his friend since he so desperately needs one (scratch that - he doesn't need *a* friend, he needs ME) and for the last decade he's always been there any time I needed him. Suck it up, and be the friend that he needs and deserves? Or cut and run to save myself from further heartache? Can I really ensure my own survival at the cost of his? Am I being totally melodramatic here?

The last question's the only one I have the answer to.

I want to hate her, but I can't. She's a void, there's nothing there to hate. When I look at her, I get no emotion at all beyond a vague weariness. Mostly I feel sorry for her - but not sorry enough to want anything to do with her.

Mostly I hurt. For me, partly, but mainly for him. I'll be fine. I'm always fine after a little while. I'm one of those people who always bounce back, no matter what, and whatever happens between us I'll manage to live a happy life. With or without him. But HIM...I hurt for him. He's so unhappy, and can't see a way of making things better.

And yes, I know that he's a grown man and has made his own choices. I'm not denying that he's responsible for his situation. I just wish that I could help him see that life isn't supposed to be like this. But how do you convince a person to do - or at least try to do - what makes them happy, when they don't believe they deserve happiness?

You can tell me not to get too deeply involved, but it won't do a blind bit of good. I AM involved, deeply. In most relationships, I've always managed to keep at least some degree of distance, but more and more I'm finding myself melding with emotions of the handful of people that I am close to. Since my gifts for healing and prophecy have all but disappeared, the empathy has increased exponentially, and with the dozen or so close friends that I have, the bond is ever-present and nearly unbreakable. Our lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined that my heart breaks for him every time I feel his pain. He hurts, ergo I hurt. I don't make the choice to, it's a law of nature that is beyond my control.

I don't think I'm capable of walking away. All I can see that I can do is step back, and watch, and wait for things to change. And when they do change, I can reassess.