Thankfulness

[The top two paragraphs here have been removed, for the same reason as the last post.]

I think I'm done talking about this for now. I talked to Kurisu-san for about two hours today, plenty of it about this subject, and now that I know I can talk to him I won't have to bore you guys with it anymore. Except maybe occasional updates.

I find it really nice that out of a monster crush has sprung a really nice friendship. I don't have a great deal of platonic male friends these days; a lot of the ones I used to have have either mostly dropped out of my life because girlfriends didn't approve, or have expressed interest in being more than friends, or I've started to become interested in them. Admittedly I AM still interested in Kurisu-san, but he has a girlfriend (not the same one he was with before) and their relationship seems pretty solid, and that's fine by me. And because we've never even got close to getting physical, the fact that I find him extremely attractive doesn't detract from the friendship, as long as I know that the attraction can't go anywhere.

He sent me some music today, that he'd composed recently. It was pretty awesome, and he's really glad that I liked it because he feels like it's his best piece so far. He doesn't feel that he's very good, but I think he's got a lot of talent, and the potential to be something great. The music was wonderful, Japanese-sounding electric guitar riffs and a sort of twinkling bell-like sound running through the whole thing that made listening to it feel just like watching the moon over the ocean in October. He titled it "Moonlight," too, so I think that was the imagery he was hoping for.

There was supposed to be an image here, but I can't get it to show up!

He said he's composed another one that's very Japanese-sounding, but he hasn't recorded it yet, so I'm really looking forward to hearing that.

I have another freakin' ear infection, which is really annoying me. This morning it twinged a bit; by the early afternoon it was agony. I have drops left from the last time, but they're not working yet. And the PMS pain in my kidney area is still not great. Plus I have general aches and pains, from not getting to the gym since Wednesday. Aside from that, I don't feel too bad right now. I was in kind of a cruddy mood earlier, what with the divorce stuff, and knowing that LOML was going through hell trying to figure out when and how to tell his Mom, but talking to K made me feel a lot better. We look at the world in very similar ways, and he always manages to make me laugh. Even when most of the conversation is serious.

Plus he understands the pain and irritation of having a stalker, which isn't something that a lot of people I know can understand.

So yes, I'm very grateful to have a guy like him in my life. He's one of those truly nice, caring, genuinely awesome people that I don't meet as often as I'd like. There doesn't appear to be an ounce of malice in him, and how many people can you say that about? And yet he does have a bit of a wicked sense of humor, and can be quite naughty sometimes.

My life is full, right now. Full of sickness, full of drama, full of money worries, full of too much crap that needs to be done, and takes more hours than I have available - but also full of really great people, and that pretty much makes up for the rest.