After ten years of liking professional, well-groomed, well-dressed men, who were well-read and intelligent, with solid career plans and "normal", vanilla lives...I've gone and fallen in like with a 20-year-old, red-haired musician who always looks like he's wearing mascara and eyeliner, doesn't read books, is studying music at uni, has a questionable tattoo on his arm that he won't tell anyone about, and has probably never worn a suit in his life, let alone a hand-tailored one. Oh, and he has a girlfriend, and he's been in my dreams at least a couple times a week.
Oopsy Daisy is putting it a bit lightly. *sighs*
Funnily enough, even though he's the antithesis of my normal "type" (as far as I have one, anyway), the thing that bothers me most about him is the fact that he doesn't read. This isn't a measure of his intelligence by any means; he's probably as smart as I am, maybe smarter. But seriously, how could I fall for a guy who doesn't like books?
Well, "fall for" isn't really accurate. I don't love him or anything. I'm not even interested in him romantically or sexually, at least not so far. I just really want to know him. He interests me in a way nobody has for a long long time. Oh sure, I've met guys - both IRL and on here - who I find fascinating, and who I think about quite a bit, but it's been years since I met one who haunts my dreams and my waking thoughts the way this one does.
What it feels most like, is a schoolgirl crush. Except I'm not a schoolgirl, and haven't been for a long time.
Oh, but I adore him, even if I don't love him. He's smart and he's sweet and he's kind of shy, and he has the softest eyes, and when you talk to him, you really feel like all of his attention's on you, and for the duration of that conversation you're the most important person in the world. And when I talk to him alone, which I've only done a few times, I feel like I can talk about anything, like I've known him for years.
I'll give any of my regular readers three guesses as to what his name is, but you may not need all three.
It's Chris, of course.
But this isn't a case of me falling for a guy because of his name. I had a huge interest in him from the start, and I didn't find out his name until the end of the second lesson.
I think this is the one. Not, like, *The One*. Not my Twin Flame, or the Love of My Life, or anything like that. But the one I've been dreaming about for so long.
The problem is, if he IS the one I've been dreaming about, my dreams of him started when I was 12. Which means HE was 6. He wasn't 6 in my dreams - I think we were both in our late teens - but still, there seems something slightly creepy about that.
Meh.
I think I need to stop thinking about 20-year-old unattainable boys, and get laid. Like, NOW. Perhaps it's time for me to find another FWB on here. I spend far too much time lying naked on my bed, reading or daydreaming, and not enough time dating and getting fucked.
So yes. Time for me to start writing to guys more. There are a couple who've caught my eye recently, but I'm so bad at responding to emails...I'm putting that on my list of things to do tomorrow. :)
Right now, it's 2.44 am and I'm tired, so I'm going to get some sleep. Good night to you, dear reader, and I hope to see you again soon!
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