It was in someone's blog, but I can't remember whose.
(BTW, there are several people I "like" right now - for the sake of convenience, I'll stick to just one.)
2) What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
I don't think much good stuff happened today.
My hair's still a pretty good colour, roots aren't showing yet. Does that count?
3) How many TRUE friends do you have?
I'm not sure, actually. I don't really know what defines a true friend. Most people seem to say it's someone who sticks with you through the bad times as well as the good, but I don't really know how many - if any - of my friends would do this, because I don't let them know when times are bad.
I probably should, actually.
4) Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
Well, I know I feel better when I wake up early. Most mornings I wake up at 5.30 or 6, talk to Angel Eyes (LOL...he probably is not amused at this nickname, but it's how I think of him), then get up and do whatever needs to be done for the day. Then I take a nap in the afternoon / evening. I feel a whole lot better if I nap than if I sleep in late.
However, some days I'm just lazy, and sleep late, even though I know I'll feel awful for it.
Also my cold isn't quite gone (although my head doesn't seem too fuzzy anymore, thank God), and it's making me very lethargic. I haven't got all that much done in the last couple of days. Mostly ironing and computer work.
5) Tell me about the shirt you're wearing?
I'm not wearing a shirt.
6) What did you do yesterday?
More or less the same as today. I slept in. Did some work in the afternoon. Did my Mom's laundry and ironed her clothes. (She was very pleased last night...then this morning she starts bitching about how I missed the skirt that she left in the kitchen, the one she wanted to wear to work. WTF??? I ironed your clothes, lady! Without you even asking! And it wasn't even in addition to mine, since mine basically don't need ironing! I can only assume she was having a bad morning.)
When I finish this questionnaire, I'm going downstairs to iron the skirt, so I can't get bitched at again.
7) What would you change about your life right now?
Amy's answer to this was "Heh, where do I start?" and that's a pretty good answer for me too.
I'd have good health. A good job that pays well. A driver's license. A size 10 body (US 6). The whole yuppie life, really. I long for yuppiedom - an apartment in the city, a little car, a job, a boyfriend who I go to the movies with and go to wine bars with and order takeout with (and who lives near me). Money (and a body) to shop in Kookai and Morgan and French Connection, and enough left over to get my nails done and my hair cut by someone in a proper salon, instead of at home by my mother.
A life where I get up and go to work every day, come home and cook every night, go to the gym every other day. See movies, see friends, have occasional dinner parties. Shop and swim and talk to my boyfriend on the phone and balance my checkbook.
What I crave, really, is a normal life. A life that matches that of an average 20-something London girl, and is unspectacular in every way.
And you know why I don't have that stuff? Health. Fibromyalgia. One thing missing, and the whole life plan falls apart. *sighs* If my health were good, I could get the rest for myself, but apparently I don't even get that.
Where is 8?
9) What's on your bedroom floor right now?
Furniture and a whole bunch of junk by my bed. I need to clean (or at least tidy) - probably tonight or tomorrow.
At first glance, by my bed there's two empty Coke cans (those will go in the recyclables tonight), a bottle of water, a Heat magazine (first time I've bought a magazine in months - I wanted to read the Big Brother stuff), some Mini Babybel Goats Cheese (which I didn't like all that much - it tasted kind of weird, and it's only 10% goat anyway, the rest is cow's milk which kind of defeats the point), the Dean Koontz book I bought in the sale the other day (The Darkest Evening of the Year) and haven't read yet, two Charlaine Harris books (Dead to the World and Definitely Dead, the latter of which I'm halfway through, the former I finished yesterday morning), the bowl and spoon from lunch (lasagne), a cup full of herbal pills that I forgot to take with lunch, a Cornetto wrapper that I haven't put in the bin yet, a box of painkillers, a blue Bic, a notebook with a scene of Palm Beach on the front, a bikini trimmer (still in its box; I bought it the other day and haven't figured out how to use it yet), my cellphone, my Nintendo DS and my laptop cable.
And that's just the junk that isn't in a pile - i.e. the stuff that doesn't belong there. I have a pile of stuff that lives by my bed (if I were in a proper bed it would be the stuff on my bedside table, but I sleep on the floor) which contains a puzzle book, a couple of reading books, some valerian for when I can't sleep, a bag of pistachio nuts, a pile of DS games, a decorative bird, some perfumed oils to relax you and a tube of Blisteze.
Most of the junk that doesn't belong there will be cleared up tonight, when I go downstairs. I try to keep everything as neat as possible, because I really like things to be tidy and in their place. The problem is that I have too much junk and not enough space - now that I've surrendered half my space to the lodgers, all my things that used to live in the kitchen or the guest room have been junked into my bedroom, and I simply don't have enough room to house them. I'm trying to get rid of a lot of things - mostly books - but it takes a long time, and as soon as I give some stuff away more springs up to take its place. Plus Mom keeps moving stuff of mine out of the living room, because she wants it to look more tidy. Which is driving me nuts, I have so little space for stuff now. I sooooo need to get my own place.
Where is 10? And why the heck did they leave so many out?
11) Favourite sport?
I'm not sure, actually. I don't play a lot of sports, my body isn't strong enough for most things. I like to swim, and windsurf, and I want to learn to waterski again. I also really want to learn to ski, but I don't have the Money right now. (Story of my life.) I love sailing, although I've mostly forgotten how to do it. (Any guys out there with their own boat?) I like horse riding, but again I haven't been for years.
For watching, boxing is my favourite, and ice dance. Mind you, I haven't watched much skating or ice dance since Alexei Yagudin and Marina Anissina and Gwendal Peizerat stopped competing, and I haven't followed boxing in quite a while either. I like to watch baseball and basketball now and then, and I like Boston Red Sox and Orlando Magic...but once again, I don't really follow what's going on.
I wouldn't say I'm a huge sports fan. That said, the things I mentioned I really do like, I just don't have the energy to keep up with them, especially with the crappy sports coverage we get over here. (Most of the sports I like are American, and over here we get football all the bloody time, and cricket and tennis and rugby, but no baseball and very little basketball coverage. And if you want the boxing, you have to order it from Sky Box Office for £14.95.)
12) What's currently bothering you?
Oh, I don't know...it's just one of those days. Nothing is really wrong, but nothing is really right either. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I seem to be a bit stuck, and my health hasn't been right since Christmas (although honestly, it hasn't been truly right for about three years...the summers have been so awful recently that I haven't got the respites that I've come to rely on).
13) What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
Drank water and read some of Definitely Dead.
14) Who did you last IM?
Angel Eyes.
15) What do you currently hear?
No music, but there's an airplane outside, and my computer is making that sound like it's too hot. (WHY do they not put little stand up legs on all laptops these days? My old one had them, but this one doesn't, and it keeps it so much cooler.)
16) Who was the last person to make you mad?
Ali. He keeps leering at me, and it's gone on for far too long and is making me really uncomfortable. A person should be able to walk around in her own house without having to encounter an obsessed male with his tongue hanging out. Even in my bedroom I don't have total privacy; whenever he goes past my door he stops outside it for anywhere from five seconds to a minute, and I can't hear him doing anything there, so I'm pretty sure he's looking through the crack between the door and the jamb. And usually I'm lying on the bed naked, either reading or working on the computer, so he can see the whole of my body. But I won't be made to feel guilty and embarrassed in my own home, I won't, so most of the time I just ignore him, and occasionally look towards the door and glare at him or give him a raised middle finger.
I can't see him looking at me, so I don't have anything concrete to accuse him of. But I can feel him. And Mom says I just have to deal with it for now, because we need the Money, and she doesn't want to have to find another lodger. So until he tries to grab me again, I just have to put up with it.
I've fought off scarier guys than him before, despite his size. But I resent not having privacy even in my own bedroom, and having to wear clothes that cover as much as possible of me and don't show off my body so I don't give him the wrong idea. It's July, for pete's sake. If he weren't here, I'd be wearing a bikini and T-shirt around the house and sunbathing topless in the garden, instead I'm stuck in ankle-length baggy skirts and old sweaters for the whole time I'm downstairs, desperately trying to conceal my figure and not give him anything to stare at. And when you have an hourglass figure like mine, it's pretty damn hard to conceal. Even in a skirt and sweater, my hips and breasts show.
17) When was the last time you had your hair cut?
Last week, my mom took a couple inches off the bottom. I'm one of those people who really needs to get it trimmed every 3-4 weeks, I get really bad split ends, but mom doesn't have the time and I can't afford to go to the salon, so the ends get worse and worse and we end up having to take loads off, so I can't seem to grow it longer. It's at a really annoying length now, too - not short enough to be chic and elegant, nor long enough to be floaty and feminine.
18) Would you rather be mad or sad?
Neither. I don't deal well with emotion.
19) Does it take a lot to make you cry?
Ehh. Usually, although I have emotional phases where everything sets me off. Usually the only things that make me cry are specific works of art or music, or occasional writers. About the only times I cry when I'm not reading or watching or listening to something, are when I'm really really angry.
20) What’s the worst feeling in the world?
I don't know.
Not having any hope, I guess.
21) Are you close with your mum?
We are, but I think recently it's gotten so close it's stifling, and our relationship is suffering because of it.
My mom's angry a lot of the time these days. She's tired and in pain and worried about Money, so I can understand it, but it makes our house a very uncomfortable place.
I need to move out, I really do, but at the moment it feels like there's no way out of the mess that is my life and my mother's.
22) Who were you last in the car with?
Mom and Tony, Thursday night.
Oh, actually, the last thing I was in was a taxi - so Mom and the taxi driver. (I wish I'd got his name, he looked like Jay Sean - total hottie.)
23 is missing...
24) When were you last outside?
Yesterday when I brought the washing in.
I have not left the house today. That seems so weird. You can tell I'm still sick, since I walk several miles every day when things are normal.
25) Name one fear you have:
Throwing up. It's actually the only thing I'm scared of, aside from bugs laying eggs in my skin and then hatching out as larva, and that's such a totally ridiculous fear that most of the time I can push it to the side.
But in day to day life, nothing really bothers me other than throwing up. Anything else, I can cope with just fine, although I don't like surprises. I'm perfectly fine with bugs and snakes and spiders as long as I know they're there. It's just when they surprise me that they scare me for a moment.
Although I don't like larva in general. Maggots, all that sort of thing...yuck. But it's more a disgust than a real fear, although if they touched me I might feel differently.
If I can conquer the emetophobia, I'll be able to say I'm not scared of anything. That would be really neat. And it might be possible. I can't see it now, but I know there was a time when I was so petrified of needles that they had to give me valium before I had a blood test, and I conquered that one by sheer willpower. Same goes for fear of the dentist. So I figure, two down, one to go. I can't actually imagine a time when throwing up doesn't practically send me into a panic attack, but I guess it could happen.
26) What's your favourite thing to do?
Read, maybe. I don't really know. There are several things I really like doing. And then plenty of other things that I love doing when I'm well, but haven't had the energy for lately, like clubbing or baking or going to the movies or out to dinner.
27) Does the thought of marriage scare you?
Most of the time, no. I'd love to be married. What scares me is the thought of being a drain on my husband. If I get married, it'll have to be to a guy who has a pretty well-paid job, because chances are he'll have to support me. That's not laziness or pessimism, it's just sheer practicality. When you've been sick for as long as I have, there's only a very small chance that you'll actually get completely better. Best I can hope for is a partial recovery.
Although a warm dry climate helps, which is why Mom and I are hoping to move to California. I'm praying that living there will restore my health, if not to 100%, at least to something better than it is now. But I'm trying not to pin all my hopes on it. *sigh*
28) How many kids do you want?
I used to really want 4, but with the economic climate the way it is, I think 2 - unless I marry a superstar with millions in the bank. I'd like a boy and a girl. But I don't know if they'll be my biological children, or adopted. Possibly some of both, if I have the Money. (That sounds horrible, but kids are damn expensive, and I don't think you should have them unless you know you can feed and clothe them, at least. It's just not responsible to bring a child into a life of poverty.)
29) What's your favorite colour to wear?
Depends on the season. In summer, I love pastels and a couple of bright things. In autumn, I love bright, vibrant colours, but also grays and browns. In winter I wear a lot of red. I wear a lot of black, white and cream year-round. Probably white and cream are my favourite colours to wear, and if I'm dressing up for a guy, or a special occasion, I'll almost always wear a dress in white or cream. But I probably wear black the most. It's pratical, and it's slimming, and it looks good with my blonde hair.
30) Who was the last person in your bedroom?
I don't think anyone's been in my bedroom for weeks, unless Mom has.
31) What are you doing today?
I gotta go do the laundry soon...this questionnaire is taking longer than I thought it would.
32) Would you rather be rich & sad or poor & happy?
I don't think I could be happy if I were really poor. I've been poor all my life, and you worry about everything all the damn time. If I were rich, or even comfortably-off, I'd make my own happiness. I make my own happiness now, but it would be easier if I didn't have to worry about Money, and had enough to do the things I like to do, like go to the gym and drive.
33 and 34 are A.W.O.L.! Call the guards!
35) Do you get bored easily?
No. I can usually find something to amuse myself. I generally find people who are always bored are bored because they're boring, and they're too lazy to think of something to do.
36) What's something that someone can do that really bothers you?
Tickle me.
Every time I say this to someone, they think it's an excuse to do it, and that I'm just being cute. I'm not. Tickling really, genuinely hurts me, and if you try it you're liable to get a bloody nose.
No 37...
38) Do you wish you were famous?
I don't know. I have little famous fantasies sometimes, but I'd probably hate it.
39) Do you make a wish at 11:11?
No, but I usually wake up at that time. 23:23. And also 4:44. I didn't know other people knew about sacred geometry, actually. I'm surprised to see the question here.
40) When you go to the beach do you swim or lay out more?
Both, I couldn't go to the beach and do just one. I alternate - a half hour of one, then the other. Or sometimes an hour, depending on my mood. But I won't go to the beach unless I get to swim at least three or four times, and sunbathe inbetween.
Where is 41?
42) What are you obsessed with?
At the moment I have a slight infatuation with a guy.
It's probably not healthy, but I can't seem to get rid of it. *sigh*
43) Who and when was your last hug?
Mom...must have been yesterday evening.
44) Do you like going to the mall to shop or just shopping online?
Both. I use online mostly for books and interesting stuff from ebay, real shops for clothing and house stuff and cosmetics and knicknacks.
45) Can music affect your mood?
Oh, definitely.
46) Who is your best friend?
I don't know, actually. Ellie, for sure. And I want to say Oli, but...oh, I don't know. Things have been weird for several months, and I was ready to give up on him, and then he split with his girlfriend. I don't know where we go from here, though - whether we can be friends, or whether he'll start flirting again, or whether the lack of girlfriend is completely moot and we're finished regardless. I just don't know. He's been my closest friend for a year, closer than Ellie because he's always there, whereas I don't talk to her all that often. But things have been strained since we split up in November, and I don't honestly know how I feel about him now.
Where is 47?
48) Have you ever been in a cave?
Sure, loads of them.
Where is 49?
50) When will you hang out or see the person you like?
I don't know. Five years, maybe. *sigh* Of course, it's probably a pipe dream; by then we'll probably like other people.
51) Has anyone ever told you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
Too many people. I seem to have this effect on men. (I say this in a very dry, cynical voice - it's the bane of my life. Or one of them, anyway.)
Now if someone I wanted to be with said this? That would be something special.
52) If you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Well, if I could pick it would change to suit my needs for the day. I kind of like the change of seasons.
53) What are you doing tomorrow?
I don't know. I don't have any plans for the rest of the week, unless I get called into work, and I probably won't because I called them and told them I was sick.
54) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
Yes, absolutely. Change is a natural process, and it's healthy. You hear so many people talking about how they wouldn't change for anyone, and they need to stay true to themselves, but I think it's much more "real" to accept change as it comes, rather than clinging to a set of outdated values. We're not the same people at 25 as we were at 15, we're not the same at 45 as we were at 25. And what we believe about the world and about ourselves needs to change and evolve, just as we do, or we end up emotionally stunted, clinging to the last faint residues of our younger selves - which is neither healthy nor desirable, in the long run.
As for changing to please a partner...that's something everyone has to choose for themselves. To some extent, everyone has to compromise, that's the nature of relationships. But we all have different levels of compromise that are acceptable to us. Some people would be happy to move to the other side of the world for the person they loved, and leave their home and job and family behind to start a new life. Others wouldn't even be willing to give up smoking or nights out. Everyone has to look inside themselves, be honest about what's important in their lives, and decide from that how much they're willing to change.
55) Do you get along with girls?
Not as well as I get along with guys, but I have a handful of girlfriends.
56) Who was the last person to call you baby?
Not sure. I don't really notice, unless it's someone I really like. Unlike just about every other female I know, I have no problem with strange men calling me baby or sweetheart or darling. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.
57) Do you crack your knuckles?
Yes. And no, it doesn't cause arthritis.
58) What'd you do two nights ago?
I'm not sure, I was still woozy.
59) Who was your last call from?
Probably my obsessed ex. He's been calling me every day, from different phone numbers in the hopes that I'll pick one of them up. I don't hate the guy, I just...ehh. He's like an energy sink. Just talking to him, let alone being around him, is so completely draining.
60) What show did you last watch?
Channel U. I watch the music channels quite a bit. Last proper thing I watched was Criminal Minds.
61) Do you wear Hollister?
We don't have it here. I'd wear it if I were in the US though, I like the clothes.
62) Who's the last person you had a deep and meaningful conversation with?
I don't really do deep and meaningful. It was probably either Oli or Angel Eyes, but I can't remember what it was about, or when.
63) What's on your mind right now?
Food. I need something to eat. I might go get chicken chow mein, if I have enough Money in my purse.
64) Would you rather be with your boyfriend / girlfriend right now?
I don't have one at the moment, not really. There's Cam, but we're always very open, more friends than anything.
If I had a boyfriend that I was happy with, then yeah, I'd rather be with him. But I prefer being alone to being with someone who doesn't feel right.
65) Do you have family problems?
*shrug* I don't really have enough family to have family problems.
66) Where are most people in your top friends from?
Don't have any top friends on here.
67) Does anyone like you?
Like as in fancy? I know there are a couple of guys - mostly on here - who want to screw me. And various exes who still have a thing for me, plus my pervy lodger. I don't know if there are any new guys out there, in my real life, who have a crush on me. I'd like to find out.
68) When was the last time you saw # 4 on your top friends list?
*shrug*
69) Were you smiling when you woke up this morning?
I don't think so. I was very sore when I woke up.
70) Last song you heard?
I think it was the fifth remix of Bashy's Black Boys.
71) What colour is your hair?
Sort of honey-blonde.
72) Kissed someone in the last twenty four hours?
Not properly.
Actually, I haven't kissed someone properly since October. That's pathetic. I really need to start using this site for what it was made for.
73) Do you give good advice?
I try not to give advice these days, except in very rare cases.
But I will give you one piece now - one of my favourite song quotes:
"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia: dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."
74) Ever been skydiving?
Nope. I don't know if I ever will. I like the idea, but...ehh. Maybe. Probably in tandem, if I ever do. If I get thinner.
75) Do you like your mobile phone?
Well enough...I like the colour (pink) and the size (small) and the way it flips open. But I could probably do with something a bit more techie.
Mind you, I'm used to this one, and for all I said about change being good and healthy, I hate change.
76) YouTube video?
I mostly watch video clips of Anissina-Peizerat and Alexei Yagudin. Plus occasional music videos that don't get played much on TV.
77) Do you like running?
Not a whole lot, but it's necessary.
78) Do you like myspace or facebook better?
Facebook, I hardly ever use myspace. (I wish I had used it more recently, but more about that in a different entry.)
Where is 79?
80) If you were sent to the hospital, who do you think you would call and ask to come?
Nobody.
81) Favourite place in the world?
Menorca.
82) Who is number one on your top?
Don't have one.
Later note: Someone has been at this post and changed things. You think I don't notice when someone changes my writing, even if it's just capital letters here and there? Whoever you are, get the hell out of my account.
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