News

I've been meaning to update you guys on here for a while, but I've had a heavy work schedule for the last week or so, and I haven't had either the time or energy. Well, I suppose I could have made the time, but the energy is a problem. Most of the time I got home too tired to even think straight, and then when I had today and yesterday off, I spent most of them reading the Simon R. Green books I got in the mail, and eating and sleeping.

So...news.

- Justyna, the new lodger, seems to be settling in well. I like her, a lot, and I don't usually like lodgers much. Oh, I don't dislike them, but it usually takes a while for me to warm up to them, even the nice ones. But Justyna seems pretty good. Friendly, but not overly so. Not too shy, and not someone who seems bothered about me wandering around the house in a T-shirt and panties in the evening, or a bikini in the daytime. (She doesn't wear a whole lot either, most of the time.) She cleans up when she makes a mess (and occasionally even cleans up *my* stuff - how cool is that? LOL ) and doesn't steal my cosmetics or food. She pays her rent on time. She doesn't lie around the house all day. She doesn't have wild parties at night or play music loud enough to wake the dead. (Or even me.)

And in addition to being an all-round OK lodger, she's a nice person. She's fun and interesting. The other day we sat out in the garden for an hour or more. I was cutting herbs, so she brought her dinner outside and we just chatted for ages. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and wood touched and all the superstitious things, hoping that she'll continue to be nice, and stay for a while. Because we've had a LOT of really, really bad lodgers in the past couple of years.

Starting from when we moved back to the house in 2002, we had Richard. He stayed for a year, and was actually pretty neat, aside from the fact that he was always cooking fish-head stew, which was something I could look past. Unfortunately, or fortunately - depending on your point of view - he was also the first guy I fell in love with. At least the first as an adult. And we had a pretty tempestuous relationship, and a year after he moved in, he eventually moved out, because we were just doing each other too much harm.

Most of the time, if I think of him at all, I miss him and sort of wish things could have been different, or that we'd tried harder. But when we're having lodger problems, I sometimes find myself wishing we'd never got together at all, because he was a pretty decent lodger, and if we hadn't started sleeping together, he might have stayed.

The next couple, I can't remember the order they went in. There was Cliff, the alcoholic butcher, who actually drank himself to death not long after Mom kicked him out. Akinbo, a 6 foot 5 Nigerian guy who I made the mistake of having a one-episode fling with, and who thereafter decided I was going to be his woman, and was frequently picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder and trying to kiss me. He was a pretty good person, but a nightmare of a lodger, even without the constant come-ons. Hope, a pretty, exotic American girl who started out well, but went downhill quickly and possibly gets the award for "most annoying lodger EVER". She stole my makeup, had no respect for hygiene either in her own room or in the communal areas (god knows how she always managed to look put-together), was a compulsive liar, had both the manipulativeness and the vanity of Jen from BB9, was too lazy to even change the toilet roll when it was finished or put a new bin liner in when her stuff overflowed the last one, always had to be right, and worst of all IMO, had extreme contempt for interracial relationships. (Despite the fact that she was half white, half Indian.) She was studying to be a psychologist, and in her opinion the fact that at the time, I had a black boyfriend and a couple of African masks on my walls showed an immense amount of hatred for "[my] own people", as well as dangerously low self-esteem, and she told me on several occasions that as soon as she got her psychology degree, she'd make sure I got the help I needed to deal with my self-loathing.

Absolute crap. In the months she lived with us, I didn't bring a single friend from college home, because all but two of my college friends were Black or Asian or Middle Eastern (I went to college in Islington) and I knew she'd have something unpleasant to say about - and probably to - them.

After Hope was Graham, a friend of my mother's, and while I love the guy I hope I never have to live with him again. 60 years old, and messier than your average teenage boy. I don't know how anyone can get to that age like that. And then Paul, who had no sense of responsibility and thought that he shouldn't have to pay rent because it's harder for a Black man to find a good job (why that meant he shouldn't have to pay rent was never quite clear to me, but whatever), and Martin, who was generally a petulant child in a man's body, and ended up burgling three houses and getting sent to prison. Oh, and then Nutan, who lived here for less than a month, and moved out when Mom refused to let her friend move in and share the room with her.

So with all that, you can see why I hope Justyna works out.

Of course, if it were up to me we wouldn't have lodgers at all, if we could afford not to. But then if it were up to me, I'd have a yacht and a swimming pool and a house on the beach, so...

- The thing with my kid got...well, not completely resolved, but thereabouts. The guy he hit finally woke up from his coma, but he didn't really remember what happened, so the police couldn't charge him with anything really serious. All they had on him was something to do with the Public Order Act, and he ended up with community support and mandatory anger management classes, which is what I'd pretty much figured as the best-case scenario. He gets to do his community support as part of the community outreach program I work in, and I get to be the sort of mentor. It's more responsibility than I'd usually take on, but I guess I have to grow up at some point. His parents don't want him in the house anymore though, so he's having to find somewhere to live, which isn't easy what with the state of the economy.

Honestly, I feel pretty sorry for the poor kid. Sure, he shouldn't have hit the guy, but what happened was an accident. I know he didn't mean to hurt him - at least not badly. Boys fight, especially boys from poverty-stricken urban neighborhoods. I'm not saying it's right, but it happens, and you just don't expect someone you get into a fist-fight with to end up in a coma. With any luck this experience will keep him on the straight-and-narrow, and he'll end up doing something good with his life. He's a smart kid, and there's no reason he shouldn't go to uni and become someone great.

- Aside from those two things, there isn't much new in my life, except for one person. I joined this site one night basically because I was horny, and Oli was trying to turn me on over the phone, and I knew I couldn't let him when he still had a girlfriend, and I just got sick of all the indecision and decided this would be a good way to move forward with my life. It didn't work out exactly the way I was hoping; although I got a lot of emails, I didn't find anyone who I really clicked with around here. There were a couple of people from elsewhere that I liked, but nobody nearby who I formed that instant bond with (although there were a handful of possibilities). And then the thing I was least expecting happened: I found someone who could possibly be a close friend, someone who I bonded with on a mental and emotional level, as well as a physical.

It surprised me, because I didn't expect to find a good friend here of all places. Especially not one whose brain turns me on as much as his physicals.  But there it is, and I can't say I'm at all unhappy. On the contrary, I'm very happy. Even if the whole thing is slightly surreal. OK, a lot surreal. It's strange to meet someone and within an hour or two feel like you've known them for a long time. But then I always fall fast. In love, or in like, either way. And although I'm not here to fall in love, and to do so would be utterly inconvenient, I can definitely say I've fallen very much in like.

And in the long run, if this site brings me even one person that I become close to, it's worth it.

(Of course, there are a couple others that I talk to who may in time become good friends - don't think that I'm ignoring you guys, please. You too are much appreciated.)

And on that note, I'm off to bed. Or at least to read for a little while, and then fall asleep. (I love wireless broadband - being able to write all this (as well as work) from the comfort of my bed makes all the difference.) Someone kept me up all night last night, and I didn't get any of my chores done today, so I really have to make an effort to get up. My alarm's set for 12 noon, and it's now 4.15 am, so hopefully I can sleep soon.

[The following paragraph no longer holds true - I have long since given up the habit of using initials or fake names, since my poor damaged brain can't keep them straight.]


* Some of you have noticed that I don't use many names in here. It's for the sake of anonymity, and not getting sued. People who are a big part of my life, and I write about often, get made-up names (although usually ones that are something close to their real name) and people who I'm just mentioning now and then get initials. It's just easier that way. I usually mention these people by their real names in the rest of my journals, but considering where we are it's probably not such a good idea. Chris Kennedy is the only one with his real name in here, and he encouraged me.

Addition: Man, I had to edit this post like 10 times, I kept finding places where I'd just left out a word, as well as typos. You can tell I'm tired. Anything else that I missed, you'll just have to forgive. *kisses*