Words To Live By

[I do miss AFF occasionally, because some of my posts - this one, for example - had a LOT of views. This one had over 12,000, and that doesn't even take into account the people who viewed it as part of the whole blog. It's hard to give that up for a blog where you currently have one follower and a handful of views a day.

That said, I don't miss the rounds of drama and nastiness that went on there. It's amazing how cruel people can get sometimes when you challenge them. I posted this in response to a month or so of "war" (*snorts*) on there. And probably fed the flames by doing so, but ho hum, them's the breaks.]

I created this post as a reaction to the recent blog drama. I have chosen not to participate in any of it, but I do now feel that I need to have my say. Therefore I offer this to you: my code of blogging conduct. This is a code that is personal to me, not something that I believe all bloggers should live by, but I urge you to create your own so that people may know who you are and what you stand for without needing to resort to names and labels that can have multiple interpretations.

I cannot promise you a blog without drama. I write from life, and my life is dramatic. Or so it seems. Perhaps you, too, feel that way about your life.

I can promise you that my drama is *my* drama, and that while you are here bearing witness to it, you will never need to get involved unless you choose to.

I cannot promise you a toxic-free blog. I write for therapy; my journal is my way of purging the emotional toxins that would otherwise build up and poison me from the inside out.

I can promise you that I am just as willing to share the love and lightness in my life as I am willing to share the shadows. And there is a lot of love and lightness, despite the sometimes grim posts that I make.

I cannot promise you that the numbers mean nothing to me. I see comments and watchers as a validation that I am doing something I love, and doing it well, and I see nothing wrong with feeling this way.

I can promise you that I am not here to be adored by everyone. In the outside world, I live a life where it is necessary to play everyone's sweetheart, and I tend to find it as much of a burden as a blessing. I am here to escape that.

I cannot promise you that I will never have a problem with you. I can be impatient at the best of times, and not everyone is my cup of tea. I have played the open-armed, love-everyone goddess for many years, and I am not willing to play it here.

I can promise you that if I have a problem with you, I will contact you directly to see if it can be resolved, and if it cannot, I will let you be.

I cannot promise you that I will never offend you. Sometimes I will, and you are free to either leave, or to tell me exactly what it is you find offensive - just as I am free to consider your point of view and either write it off or make changes to my own opinions and / or actions.

I can promise you that I am basically a kind person, whose brain damage occasionally causes her to say unintentionally hurtful things, and when this happens I will do my utmost to apologise and atone. I can also promise that I am not someone who is hesitant to change their opinion. Life is a continuous cycle of learning and adapting, and I am (almost) always willing to listen to people who believe that something that I have said or done is wrong. I may not agree, but I will listen.

I cannot promise you that you will not have an issue with my friends. Your relationships with people, whether I know them or not, are not my business.

I can promise you that I will never rely on my friends to defend my honor. My honor does not need defending; it is not at risk. Nothing that you can say or do will damage my integrity in the slightest. Only I can do that.

This is my pledge, my manifesto, the code of conduct that I intend to hold myself to. I do not believe that arbitrary labels are useful: I believe that only by creating a personal code and attempting to live by that code can we create a definition of ourself that others can understand.

~ Sati-Marie Frost - October 2010 ~

(Please feel free to repost.)